All About RSVP Cards
I recently polled my amazing audience (you!) about what you wanted to know about wedding invitations, and wow, did I get an amazing response! There were so many great themes, and one piece of the invitation suite that kept coming up was RSVP cards/reply cards (I use them interchangeably!). This little piece of the suite isn't so little in the grand scheme of things because it actually lets you know who will be coming to your wedding! And you can't have a party without your favorite people there! So without further ado, let's dive into some of the questions I received and some of the best practices for RSVP/reply cards!
What information should I collect on the RSVP card?
This is truly dependent on your wedding in particular, depending on how much information you, your venue, or your vendors need in order to plan accordingly for your ceremony and reception. Below are some of the typical items you may wish to include:
Who is attending or not attending: This is the main thing you need to know on your reply card and the one thing that will be consistent across every single RSVP card that is sent out for a wedding. Typically you will see blank lines, a line starting with "M___________", or a line that says "Name(s)__________" where the guests will write in their names, and then some sort of way for them to check a box/circle/etc. that they will be there. A lot of times you will see this with the words "Accepts with pleasure/Declines with regret" or newer, modern versions such as "Wouldn't miss it!/Can't make it!"
Meal Selections: If you are having a plated dinner at your reception with multiple options, you will need to know which meal to serve each guest. The best way to collect this information is to list the selections and ask on your RSVP card that each guest initial next to their meal choice. That way, on the wedding day each guest receives the meal they selected and your caterers are able to plan in advance to have the correct amount of each meal selection!
Dietary Restrictions: You can also opt to include a line for your guests to write in any dietary restrictions they have. This would be more typical for a plated dinner, so that you know ahead of time that you need a special dairy or gluten free meal for that person. You are not obligated to do this of course, but it is a nice gesture that your guests with dietary restrictions will certainly appreciate!
Number of guests attending: One tricky thing about wedding invitations is kindly informing your guests that you have reserved only a certain amount of seats for them on your wedding day. This is tough when you are inviting a single friend and you don't have space for them to bring a plus one, or you are only inviting the parents of a family of five. When addressing your invitations you will only include your single friend's name or just the parents' names on the envelope, but not everyone goes off of the envelope or understands that etiquette. So another way to gently let them know you don't have room for their family of five is to include a line on your invitation that says "We have reserved ____ seat(s) for you". Then, you will fill out each RSVP card accordingly when assembling your invitations. For your single friend you will fill in "1", and for the family where you only wish to invite the parents you will fill in "2". This may seem like an extra step, but it is certainly a whole lot less awkward and uncomfortable than having to call them up and explain that you really only meant to invite them, and not the entire family!
Song Selections: If it is really important to you that your guests get out onto the dance floor, you may wish to ask for their song requests on your RSVP cards. Totally up to you, and typically reserved for more modern weddings!
When should my "reply by" date be for my RSVP cards?
The reply by day is dependent upon your venue and vendor requirements. For example, if your stationer requires names for place cards, seating charts, etc. 3 weeks in advance, but your venue and caterer do not need a head count until 2 weeks in advance, your reply by date will need to be at least 3 weeks in advance to accommodate all of your vendors accordingly. I would recommend at least a week to contact any invitees you have not heard from, so if we add that week onto our example, your reply by date would need to be at least 4 weeks before your wedding day. So although 3-4 weeks before your wedding day is considered most typical for a response date, it truly is determined by your planning needs and your vendor requirements!
How do I keep all of my invitations and RSVP cards organized?
The main way that invitations and reply cards can be organized is through a numbering system on the back of your RSVP cards. To do this, start with the spreadsheet you used to gather all of your guest addresses. This is the easiest place to start because each guest/family has their own line. Add a column with a number assigned to each guest. Then, you can write the same number on the back of their RSVP card really small, so that if you can't read their names or they did not include their names on the RSVP card when returning it, you will know who it belonged to!
In addition, whenever you receive each RSVP card in the mail, go to your spreadsheet and mark whether each guest/family will be attending or not. Then you will be able to easily see who has not yet responded when it is getting closer to the RSVP deadline to know who to reach out to. This is also an easy way to see how many people will actually be coming to the wedding! Excel Spreadsheets are my favorite way to stay organized with a lot of information because there are so many functions that can be helpful when organizing and planning for a wedding!
Should I collect RSVPs on a wedding website?
This is an interesting question that really comes down to the style of the wedding and your own opinion. Including a separate reply card and envelope is definitely the traditional way to do things, and what is typically expected among your guests. However, there has recently been a trend in collecting your RSVPs online.
If you are holding a more traditional, classic wedding your invitations should reflect that, which in turn means that an RSVP card and envelope would be most appropriate. It could be very confusing to your guests to send a formal invitation and then direct them to your wedding website to submit their response. In addition, if you have several older guests attending, a traditional reply card and envelope will make the most sense to them as well. Just because the reply card is "traditional" doesn't mean it has to look traditional! If you have a more modern suite, your reply card will coordinate accordingly - the reply card is traditional in the sense of tradition, not in style.
However, there are a few reasons you may opt to collect your RSVPs online. One is to save on postage because it is best practice to always include a stamped envelope for the reply card in your invitation suite. So if you have a tight budget you may opt to collect your responses online. In addition, if your wedding vibe is very modern and your guests are on the younger side in age it could be appropriate to ask them to submit the responses online. I’ve added a three piece suite to The Collections Suites for just that reason!
My opinion as a stationer is that I absolutely love including a traditional reply card and envelope in my clients' suites. A wedding is typically a formal event, and although I don't consider myself super traditional, I'm still very classic at heart - and a reply card and envelope is just that: classic.
As you can see, the RSVP card may be the smallest piece of the invitation suite, but it carries a lot of weight! How much information you gather on this card is truly up to you and the style of your wedding, but at minimum you will need to know the names of your guests and whether they will be attending!
